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Author Topic: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM  (Read 1557 times)

Offline dragonfly

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★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« about: April 01, 2014, 05:54:38 am »
                                                                         Bountie For The Best Joke
                                                     ☆    Just For A Bit Of Fun Tell Your Best Joke   ☆
                                                                 In 7 Days l Will Announce The Winner
                                                           

                                         Depending on what sort of trading week l have this could double


« Last Edit: April 01, 2014, 05:57:25 am by dragonfly »
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★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« about: April 01, 2014, 05:54:38 am »

Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #1 about: April 01, 2014, 09:41:52 am »
Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #1 about: April 01, 2014, 09:41:52 am »
ad2

Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #2 about: April 01, 2014, 09:43:09 am »
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

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Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #3 about: April 01, 2014, 09:48:51 am »
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator.
The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.

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Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #4 about: April 01, 2014, 09:49:49 am »
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

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Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #5 about: April 01, 2014, 09:50:28 am »
A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill."

Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill."

Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been? Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."

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Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #6 about: April 01, 2014, 09:51:47 am »
Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.

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Offline iwanH

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #7 about: April 01, 2014, 05:55:30 pm »
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A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

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I like this one.............. :D

Offline rippler9

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #8 about: April 01, 2014, 09:38:45 pm »
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!' The man says: 'You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'

BELI: bmeJaqKraS4SQKbQA7Vgya96fJQJqAfp9T

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Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #9 about: April 05, 2014, 08:36:58 pm »
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."
The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."
He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"
The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

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Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #10 about: April 05, 2014, 08:38:45 pm »
What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A Seatbelt

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Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #11 about: April 05, 2014, 08:39:51 pm »
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of censured_by_lotcoin are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

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Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #12 about: April 05, 2014, 08:40:22 pm »
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
-Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.

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Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #13 about: April 05, 2014, 08:41:48 pm »
After having failed his exam, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student:
“Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor:
“Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student:
“Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you to give me an “A” for the Exam.”

Professor:
“Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”

Student:
“What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers:
“Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 17 Year old lover, which is logical but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal nor logical.”


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Offline iFuck

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Re: ★★★JOKE OF THE WEEK★★★WINS 25000 BELI or DIEM
« Reply #14 about: April 05, 2014, 08:42:34 pm »
What happens when batman sees catwoman?

The dark knight rises

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